mad scientist: my masterpiece. how are peoplegoing to remember me as the greatest scientist in history if i can't even think of a goodidea? vampire: trick and treat?mad scientist: i have treats. first, you must help me with my masterpiece.vampire: i only have 1 hand. mad scientist: i could help you with that,too. i'm as scientist. come right in.
easy zombie foods, vampire: ha ha ha ha.mad scientist: all right, lefty. we're going to make you a nice arm. why not make it tastyand sturdy. what do you think? vampire: good.mad scientist: 1 pound of slime, and to that, why don't you take that mysterious lookingegg, and put it in there?
vampire: egg.mad scientist: add 1 teaspoon of onion powder, and 1 teaspoon of garlic powder. by the way,vampy, how'd you come about losing your left arm anyway?vampire: i went on a trip to florida. it wasn't good.mad scientist: you must've forgot the sunscreen, huh?vampire: yeah. pepper flakes. mad scientist: spicy. i didn't realize youlike it like that. a little bit of kosher salt. you got to be flavorful after all, right?vampire: yes. mad scientist: a little bit of fresh pepper.vampire: mmmmhh. mad scientist: i would ask you to mix it,vampy, but you're kind of short 1 arm. i'll
take the lead here and mix up our pink slimygoodness here. for the most important part, vampy, look what i have. a fresh cadaver arm.of course, if you don't have cadavers, you could use a pork tenderloin, too. the realthing's the best. why don't you hit it with a little bit of kosher salt? i'll hit it withsome fresh pepper. once again, i would say you could give me a hand, but you can't. i'lldo all the work. let me see your hand there. that kind of matches up roughly with the sizeof a vampire hand. you're going to put that right there. now, this hand needs some structureto it. i need to give you some skin, freshly harvested skin from the laboratory.vampire: is that prosciutto? mad scientist: no, it's skin. skin.vampire: good.
mad scientist: okay. you want to make sureyou cover all the surface area here, that way nothing burns. it gets nice and crispy.all right. next, vampy, we have to give you a bone to affix your arm to your body.vampire: yes. mad scientist: i have a little bone fragmenthere that fits you perfectly. of course, if you don't have fresh bones, they told me icould use a leak, but i would never do that to you. i will tuck it under your arm here.vampire: is that blood? mad scientist: yes. i'm going to spoon thisdelicious blood all over the arm here. keep those fangs inside, please. why don't youbrush it all over your beautiful hand and arm. while you're doing this, i'm preheatingour oven to 350 degrees. beautiful. don't
miss any spots. i don't want you to burn.i'm going to take this to the oven for 30 minutes. while i'm gone, have all the funyou want. look at this. i transferred it to a beautifulplatter for you. now, we'll take some extra blood that you didn't drink already, and goall the way around the side. that way, it soaks it up and stays nice and moist. thisway, the arm will absorb the blood. i can attach it to your body.vampire: guess what. mad scientist: what?vampire: i tricked you. mad scientist: i invited you into my house,and you're a vampire. what do you want? vampire: your blood.mad scientist: aaaahh!!!
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